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I am a bookworm, so naturally the first
thing I thought of after discovering I was pregnant was a trip to the bookshop.
I started looking for all sort of books about pregnancy and taking care of
newborns, which I will be reviewing and recommending some of them later in
future posts.
Next step was online, I spent few hours every
day during my 9 month pregnancy surfing the internet for websites and articles
providing info about pregnancy, what to eat, what to take to the hospital, what
to buy for your newborn …etc. I even joined a couple of forums and started
asking questions of expert mums in there.
I read the books, surfed the internet and
recalled every single conversation I had with my friends, whom were blessed
with children before me, about how to take care of babies and that was it, I
felt I was completely ready and prepared to be the perfect mum I hoped to be.
Needless to say I was delusional. Don’t
get me wrong, the books and all the info I got did help me but not at first.
The first couple of days after coming
home from the hospital with Omar (AKA: Maro) I was a total wreck, I felt so
helpless and clueless that the first time I put the diaper on my son I put it
backwards. I was afraid I would carry him in the wrong way and hurt him and I
felt that all the stuff I read was great but not for now, not for those first
few weeks and I just felt so lost.
I actually had a couple of breakdowns the
first few weeks. I remember the second night home my son kept crying all night
and wouldn’t stop except when I am carrying him and even then he would stop for
few minutes and then resume crying. I didn’t know what was wrong and no matter
what I did he wouldn’t stop crying. As I was laying in bed and Omar between my
hands I couldn’t help but look around this perfect room I have prepared for him
and think what a lousy mum I am. I was only good in picking baby furniture,
decorating the room but I can’t get my son to calm down and can’t figure out
what is wrong with him.
Next day when I called the doctor I
learnt from him that the baby was suffering from colic and that this was normal
for newborns and he prescribed something to give him to ease the pain for
whenever he gets it again.
That day I realized that it doesn’t
matter how much I read or how much I know, nothing will ever fully prepare me
for motherhood, because it is not something you learn from books but rather
something you learn and master with practice day by day.
So what’s my point ... to all the new
mums and mums to be out there, read the books, surf the net, talk to other mums
and learn from their experience but always bear in mind that you will face new
things in your life as a mother that you don’t
know anything about, kinda like curve balls, and when that happens don’t
panic, keep it together and try to figure it out for yourself, and if you
failed don’t worry because that is what motherhood is all about; you and your
baby venturing together in life and learning from each other hoping to make it
safely in this big world.
